The FIFA World Cup Final halftime show provided an answer to the burning question of how to fit Madonna, BTS, Justin Bieber, Shakira, Gustavo Dudamel, Chris Martin and the Muppets into a single 11-minute segment – ​​in the most fleeting way possible.

Although there were reports that the halftime show would be allowed to last longer than its allotted 11 minutes, it actually came in just a few seconds over that mark, which meant that none of the superstars involved had more than two minutes of time on the field… or mostly off it, in Madonna’s case.

The segment began with an apparently pre-recorded segment in which Madonna and passengers Ronaldinho and Ronaldo were transported by jeep through tunnels, apparently into the bowels of New York New Jersey Stadium, a trip that lasted long enough that it seemed doubtful if she would ever appear on the field. He did, but by then his performance of “Music” had ended, so all that was left to do in front of the live fans was pose before the action transitioned to Dudamel and the Muppets.

The transition at the two-minute mark found the outgoing LA Phil director leading string sections from New York and Venezuela supporting a Muppet band’s performance of the White Stripes’ “Seven Nation Army.” The next minute was spent leaving viewers wondering why puppets instead of Jack White himself were inserted into the mega medley to deliver the biggest riff in rock or sport, before BTS took over at the three-minute point.

The K-pop superstars had one minute and 40 seconds of “Dynamite,” with some altered soccer lyrics, before they were followed by an unbilled appearance by Jason Sudeikis, briefly reprising his role as Ted Lasso. His entry into the World Cup: Coaching Justin Bieber, he simply took the field with an acoustic guitar to sing an all-solo performance of “Everything Hallelujah,” from his “Swag II” album, without a band or a laptop.

Who would be the “headliner” in this lineup? It is not surprising that it was Shakira, accompanied by Burna Boy, singing “Dai Dai”, the FIFA anthem whose feeling of brotherhood of men and feet is “Here in this place you belong.” Then, with a minute and a half left, the Muppets returned, now accompanied by the Webby Award-winning chorus PS22 and a much higher partner in the chorus line, Chris Martin, who had been the halftime curator. “We believe in love,” they sang, a sentiment that took second place here only to a belief in brevity, with a more-is-better approach to making the finals’ first halftime show as close to a FIFA bracket as possible.