When I started planning a trip to Scotland with my 17-year-old daughter, I knew we wanted to spend some time in Edinburgh and then visit the Isle of Skye. The logistics of the trip were a little overwhelming: as the only adult, I would be responsible for driving. And even more stressful was the thought
When I started planning a trip to Scotland with my 17-year-old daughter, I knew we wanted to spend some time in Edinburgh and then visit the Isle of Skye.
The logistics of the trip were a little overwhelming: as the only adult, I would be responsible for driving. And even more stressful was the thought of having to drive on the “wrong” side of the road, something I had never done before.
The natural choice was to visit Edinburgh on our own and then book a group tour of the Isle of Skye. The tour we decided to join received rave reviews for its small group experiences, but would my daughter feel out of place among what I thought would be a group of retirees? I wasn’t so sure.
Our group was surprisingly diverse.
Turns out I had nothing to worry about. At 50 years old, I was probably the oldest member of our group after our tour guide. We were accompanied on this three-day tour by a couple on their extended honeymoon, a pair of siblings who met each year in a new destination, and a couple who left their young son at home with his grandparents for the first time.
The author said his tour group was filled with a diverse group of people of different ages. Courtesy of Kate Loweth.
The group was small enough that we quickly learned a bit about each other. We shared meals, exchanged travel stories, and got to know each other while driving through the Scottish Highlands. There was no pressure for my daughter to make friends, but she naturally became part of the group.
What really surprised me was how well my daughter did, chatting easily with other members of the tour group over shared meals, even though she was the youngest person by decades.
I thought I would be the one to take care of her.
I hoped to be the one to take care of her during the trip. Instead, I often caught myself taking care of myself.
On one hike, the terrain was slippery and uneven. While I carefully watched my steps, my daughter was the one who helped me along the path. She was more confident than me in some situations and seemed to genuinely enjoy being able to help. It was wonderful to see her in this new way.
It’s easy for me to take on the role I’ve always had as their mom: the person who handles logistics, solves problems, brings snacks, and makes sure everyone gets where they need to go. Even as my kids grow older, I can fall back into those familiar habits.
The author said that this trip with her daughter allowed her to see her in a more adult way. Courtesy of Kate Loweth.
But on this trip, our roles were often reversed. He chatted easily with our tour guide and helped me figure out where we were going when I turned around on the busy streets of Edinburgh.
Of course, she still needed me, but traveling around Scotland together gave me a taste of the adulthood she is becoming.
I realized I might be more ready for her to leave than I thought.
As he soon heads off to college, I know he will have to navigate new places, unfamiliar people, and unexpected challenges without me by his side. As a parent, it can be difficult to imagine that transition. But our trip to Scotland made me feel a little more prepared for it.
I’m savoring my days with her and feeling a little better about her being out into the world. She may not be ready to stop being her mother, but after seeing how much of an adult she has become, I feel more confident that she is ready to take some steps without me.