I didn’t expect that my children growing up would make me think so much about my parents.

When my children were young, my wife and I were consumed by the immediate demands of parenthood. There were diapers to change, lunches to prepare, and sleepless nights to survive. The vast majority of my focus was on helping my children grow.

But now my daughter and son are about to turn 12 and 10, respectively, and they have become more independent and are starting to develop their own lives.

As a result, I have found myself paying more attention to the other end of my family spectrum. As my children grow, so do my parents. And living hundreds of miles away has made that reality seem impossible to ignore.

I notice changes that I never noticed before

My wife and I moved from Calgary to Nelson, British Columbia, in 2017. The decision was a big one, and while it gave our family a lifestyle we love, it also separated us by seven hours of driving between us and our parents.

Because we don’t see them every week or even every month, our time together has become more valuable. When I was younger, aging seemed gradual, something everyone experienced, but very far away. But now, since we only see my parents a few times a year, the changes they are going through have become more noticeable.

They are still healthy and active, but I find myself paying attention to their aging like never before. They have a little more gray hair. They go up the stairs a little slower. Each visit reminds me that time moves forward, whether I am prepared for it or not.

Watching my children grow makes time more tangible

Parenting constantly reminds you how quickly life changes.

I see it in my own home every day. My daughter is growing into a young woman (she already rolls her eyes at every stupid dad joke I make). My son spends more time with his friends than following me around the house like he used to.

To be honest, it makes me sad. Stages that I once thought would last forever are coming to an end almost overnight. But seeing that happen with my children has changed the way I view my parents.

For years, my parents seemed to be fixed in my mind. They were just mom and dad. The people who picked me up from soccer practice, taught me how to drive, and helped us buy our first house.

Now I realize that they are not frozen in those roles. They are getting older and their lives are changing too. In some ways, I had to become a father to fully understand that.

Being a father has made me more grateful

As my wife and I navigate the challenges of raising children, I become more appreciative of what my parents did for my siblings and me.

I have also developed a better understanding of the sacrifices they made. All the worry and stress I caused them. The patience and selflessness they showed over the years. The way they were always there for me, time and time again.

And as I watch my children need me less and less, I realize that my parents have been experiencing their own version of that process for years. The older my children get, the more aware I become that life does not move in one direction. It’s happening on both ends at once.

My children are becoming more independent. My parents are getting older. And I’m standing somewhere in between, trying not to take either of those things for granted. It’s a strange place to be. But it has made me more present and grateful for this beautiful opportunity we have in life.