This essay as they said it is based on a conversation with Marta Milans. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I got married in 2021. I got pregnant naturally shortly after, but unfortunately it was an ectopic pregnancy. My doctors discovered that I had some uterine issues that needed to be addressed.

I didn’t want to waste any more time, so I jumped right into the IVF journey.

I went to my native Spain to receive IVF treatments. It was a success, but it was a trip.

My baby was born when I was 42 years old.

There is a clinic in Valencia called Equipo Juana Crespo. Dr. Crespo is a legend. She recorded the problem and I underwent some surgeries to prepare. Then I did several IVF cycles in a row to try to get a healthy embryo. We put two in and hoped one would stick.

We had my daughter when she was 42 years old. She is now 18 months old and perfect, everything I could want.

No one prepared me for how lonely the IVF process is and how hard it is on the body and mind. Everyone reacts differently, but hormones, at least for me, changed what I thought was real. It took me into the darkness and I found it difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

At one point I had vertigo, lack of sleep, lost a lot of weight and had suicidal thoughts. It changed my personality completely. No matter how wonderful your partner is, it’s up to you to share these things with them. They won’t understand what your mind is going through.

I called my doctors and asked for forgiveness, I don’t want to die to be a mother.

We have to do IVF again

I only had two embryos and we implanted them both. That meant that if she wanted to have another child in the future, she would need more IVF.

I lost my grandmother, but before she passed away, she told me, “Don’t worry, when I get to heaven I’ll send you a girl.” I decided to have faith that it would work.

Now I want baby number two and we have to go through all of this again. I’m more prepared this time.

Biology is biology, and our ovarian reserves decrease and our eggs get worse. It’s harder to become a mother later in life, but it shouldn’t be something we don’t talk about. We shouldn’t have to suffer in silence and pretend it’s not happening.

I want people to know that you can do it all: have a career and have a baby later in life.

There is a lot of stigma around fertility later in life. I chose to have my career and I shouldn’t be punished for it in the future just because I want to be a mother. I landed an amazing job on Peacock’s “MIA,” but I was three and a half months postpartum when we started filming. I had also just evacuated our house in Malibu from the fires. I had to fly back to Los Angeles to audition for work, then move my family to Miami and I started filming two weeks after we moved.

I was pumping in my trailer and storing milk in the refrigerator for my 4 month old baby. Call time was 4:45 am. My daughter woke up once or twice a night. I sailed it with my husband. I’m glad I have my support system of women, friends, my mother and my grandmother in heaven. I’ve been very lucky because I couldn’t have done it alone.

I think once you become a mother, you realize that you can do anything. I have given birth to a human. I am unstoppable.