I am a mother of four children, one of whom is dual enrolled in high school and college courses. I have also taught over 1,000 college students over the past decade. Of course, I have seen students thrive and fail over the years. Everyone who is successful seems to have some similarities. My experience has
I am a mother of four children, one of whom is dual enrolled in high school and college courses. I have also taught over 1,000 college students over the past decade.
Of course, I have seen students thrive and fail over the years. Everyone who is successful seems to have some similarities. My experience has shown me that knowing a few things before starting your first year can make a big difference. This is what I want parents to teach their high school graduates before they go to college.
Encourage your children to handle things on their own
Communication is absolutely essential to a college student’s success, from the first day they step foot on campus. Some classes will have more than 100 students. Teach your child to personally introduce himself to his teacher. If your child is going to be absent or struggling with class material, teach him or her how to send a respectful email asking for clarification or support.
What you should not do is intervene and try to talk to the teachers on your child’s behalf. This is their time to learn, and that includes learning to advocate for themselves.
The author has taught at both a university and a community college and says incoming freshmen would benefit from a little prep work before the school year begins. Courtesy of Rachel Garlinghouse
Enroll them in a self-defense class.
The summer before the fall semester, consider offering to take a self-defense class with your child or sending them to one designed specifically for their age.
College campuses can be beautiful spaces to learn and grow; However, the glossy brochures and websites do not describe the realities of possible sexual assaults, harassment, fights, carjackings or stalking that may take place there or elsewhere.
It’s essential that your child understands that paying attention to their surroundings (without burying their faces in their phones) and posting carefully on social media (watching those places) can be simple but important safety steps. A self-defense class can also give them a little more confidence and give you some peace of mind.
Teach to set limits
I think learning how to set good boundaries can make or break a college experience.
Yes, college is about students discovering who they are while getting more education. However, a young adult who is a pleaser or doormat, rather than an advocate for themselves, can quickly find their grades plummeting and they form unhealthy relationships with peers.
It is important to teach your prospective college student that boundaries are not about controlling other people. Good boundaries are for the person: what they will or will not do, what they will or will not tolerate, in order to achieve the life they want. For example, I know that staying out too late with my gaming club means I’ll oversleep and potentially miss my 8:00 a.m. math class; Therefore, my limit is to be in my dorm by 11:00 pm Sunday through Thursday nights.
Of course, no one sets boundaries correctly all the time. College is a time to live and learn.
Early Research Opportunities
Now is the time to research the many opportunities your college offers and start planning for your child to explore them. Many of my students, most of them first years, spend months feeling lost, alone, and disengaged. The further into the semester the more difficult it will be to join when a group is already established and in good rhythm.
College campuses offer countless opportunities for a wide range of interests, whether it’s sports (attending events or playing for fun with peers), gaming, learning a new skill, participating in a shared hobby, or learning more about the local community and joining its events. Encourage your child to seek out these things and experience as much as they can.
Prioritize your mental health
Recent high school graduates who are about to embark on a major life change need to understand that their mental health is important.
Each semester I have had several students who have faced some type of mental health issue. Those who were able to overcome their depression or anxiety were those who verbalized their struggle and sought help, usually through the university’s medical and mental health services, as quickly as possible.
Parents must also be attentive listeners. If your student-child expresses that he or she is struggling, meet. with curiosity and support. Over the years, I have seen that grades matter much less than a student’s long-term mental well-being.