It was just my husband and I at the kitchen table. All IVF supplies ran out. In some ways, there were too many instructions, but not enough either. How do we know we are mixing the medication correctly? What happens if there is an air bubble in the needle? What if there is a really big air bubble?

I stood there half naked with circles drawn on my belly to mark where to inject and where not to inject. And just as I was about to give myself the injection for the first time, my husband let out a nervous laugh.

I lost it. I felt overwhelmed. Not just for the task at hand, but also for what it would hopefully ultimately lead to: a baby.

I never told my husband (or anyone else) this, but that night I thought: I can’t do this. I’m throwing in the towel. It’s not too late to give up IVF.

And yet, despite my mixed emotions, it may surprise many to learn that we proactively chose IVF, not out of necessity, but because that’s how we wanted to get pregnant.

Why we choose IVF

My husband and I delayed parenthood. We were both late bloomers. We both started new careers around 30, got married five years later, and a few years later decided to try for a baby. But at that time I was 38 and 39, so we chose IVF for three reasons:

• Give birth to a healthy baby: At my age, the chances of suffering from miscarriages and genetic abnormalities increase. With IVF, PGT-A (preimplantation genetic testing for aneuploidies) can be used to detect chromosomal abnormalities in embryos before they are transferred to the uterus. Selecting a chromosomally normal embryo can reduce the risk of miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormalities and reduce the chance of transferring an embryo with certain chromosomal conditions.
• Time and flexibility: We may want more than one child. As we age, the quality of our eggs continues to deteriorate, but with IVF, we will always have our embryos ready for when the time is right for us. My age essentially becomes just a number.
• Money: Both my husband and I receive fertility benefits through our employers, so the financial burden of IVF would not be as heavy as it could have been; a true privilege that helped us make our decision.

The right choice for our family.

Don’t get me wrong. IVF is difficult and expensive and, frankly, an emotional roller coaster. But I know deep down that we made the right decision for our family. While my husband and I have no diagnoses of infertility, genetic problems, or anything else (other than high cholesterol, oops!), because of my age, there are increased risks that keep me up at night.

With IVF, it matters less that you are now 39 because doctors can carefully select the best and healthiest embryos.

That being said, we still don’t know if our IVF journey will result in a pregnancy. With one round of IVF, my body produced 34 eggs, resulting in 4 euploid embryos that are chromosomally normal. If the first transfer is successful, I will still have multiple embryos that could be used for future pregnancies, thus eliminating my age as a factor because they have already been deemed chromosomally normal and viable for pregnancy.

IVF gave us back time

My husband and I took our time raising our family, but we didn’t miss anything. We won, we lived, we made memories together in our early thirties and we built a solid foundation for our relationship. And thanks to IVF, we hope to experience healthy pregnancy and parenthood on our timeline.

They say time is our greatest and most expensive resource, and that’s exactly what IVF gave us.