I sent four kids (my son and three stepchildren) to college, so I thought I’d experienced almost everything in this process: campus visits, moves, loans, roommate problems, and family weekends.

As my youngest son prepares for college, I thought there wouldn’t be many new experiences for me, but I was wrong.

My last child (who uses they pronouns) plans to attend school far from home, which has offered me a totally different experience.

A personalized campus tour was most helpful.

My kids’ first college visit wasn’t until November of their senior year, so we had to make the most of it when we visited far away schools.

One school offered the option of a personalized one-on-one visit, something I never experienced with my other children.

We took a group tour of the campus, met with admissions, took a personal tour of the theater department, and met with the department head of his major.

It was the most productive day we spent on campus.

We start the list of pros and cons on Admitted Student Day

Over spring break, we attended an Admitted Student Day at a school not far from home. Most schools offer this event specifically for high school seniors accepted to the school in the winter or early spring, when the May 1 decision deadline approaches.

There were panels with students and teachers, as well as an academic fair and activities. My son attended a class and I had a parent session about the job market and post-graduate career resources.

I don’t remember having the option of Admitted Student Days with my older children, but this was incredibly helpful as it gave me the information I needed to make the decision to commit.

During lunch on campus, after watching several kids commit to school and the ensuing faculty celebrations, the gravity of having to make a decision soon hit my son.

Although I had not intervened in the application process, that day my son and I sat next to each other in the school cafeteria and his college spreadsheet appeared on my phone. We talked about their main criteria and the schools on the list, and filled out their pros and cons list.

The financial aid review process saved us thousands

Before this year, I had never heard of a Financial Aid Review. Both of my students’ top choices offered this option.

The process took about five minutes to submit an online form along with evidence of your financial aid offers (scholarships, grants and loans) from other schools.

In early April, his two top choices responded and offered additional grants.

Not only did this help keep the costs of his three very different major schools within $3,000 a year of each other, but it was also a confidence boost for my son.

This time, the college orientation was 2.5 days for students and parents.

Once the financial aid part was resolved, my son could make his decision. After a lot of thought, feedback, and realizing they really wanted a new experience, they chose the school that’s six hours away—the furthest my kids have ever gone.

This was the school that did the personalized campus visit, and now that I knew they were going to college two states away, I had a whole new list of questions.

My previous college counseling experiences have generally consisted of a very intense day of driving and accumulating as much information as possible. Maybe it’s because the school is quite remote and most students are more than 3 hours from home, but this university put a lot of care and attention into the program. This orientation consisted of 2.5 days of helpful, informative and reassuring sessions for students. and parents.

While I was in a hotel, my son stayed in a dormitory on campus. Orientation started with parents and students together, but at the end of the first day we had to say goodbye. It was like taking the first small step towards the much bigger goodbye that will come in the fall.

My son had days filled with academic and housing workshops, advisor meetings, and ice cream socials. I learned about Wellness Resources, academics, housing and finances.

On the last day I had two emotional sessions, teachers noted, that made most parents cry: Supporting Your Student and Student Issues. We talked about what to do if your student is lonely or struggling, the child-sized gap in your life, and what the new normal is. Yes, I cried.

I felt more comfortable leaving my son since I understood this university.

At the end of orientation, my son was exhausted and excited. We now knew the campus and building names, important dates, and had advice on everything from packing a plunger to navigating FERPA to making plans to get them home for Thanksgiving.

I now feel comfortable sending them to college for almost six hours, by far the longest any of our children have done.